


sefirot

by i_was_human



Series: after the end [1]
Category: Lobotomy Corporation (Video Game), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Lobotomy Corporation Fusion, Angst, Character Death, Gen, Heavy Angst, Robots, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 19:10:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21286757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: And Seokjin took poison with his coffee as penance.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook & Jung Hoseok & Kim Namjoon & Kim Seokjin & Kim Taehyung & Min Yoongi & Park Jimin
Series: after the end [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534679
Kudos: 20





	sefirot

Some days, he's cognizant enough to remember.

Some days, he's cognizant enough to remember the boy with his hair tied back, smiling at him as they inject him with the drug, as they inject him with <strike>his death</strike> cogito. And it's his fault, isn't it?

<strike>Jungkook </strike>Seagull is an expert sefirot, though. Perfect for the control team, with his desire to please.

And then there's <strike>Yoongi</strike> Suga.

There's the sefirot of the Information Team, prizing information only barely above his employee's lives. 

When he's cognizant, he remembers his hands stained with his own blood, shrieking as they restrain him, and the presence of the tallest at his side as he stares at them, eyes _sad sad sad_ as he watches his best friend break down-

<strike>Taehyung</strike> V runs the training team well, actually. His carefree nature makes it easy for him to put new employees at ease, and his genuine love for those under his care makes it even easier for them to stay. 

<strike>Why did he betray us _why why why w h y-_</strike>

<strike>Jimin</strike> Angel stands as the antithesis to him, actually. He can remember a time where he would smile at the prospect of talking to them, a time when he _wanted them to live_ but it failed <strike>and he died-</strike>

<strike>Hoseok</strike> Hope does well enough for himself, he thinks. Running an entire department isn't an easy task, much less running a department that encompasses command of all others. Still, he manages to handle it well enough, despite his dislike of the upper sephirah. 

They have to replace him a lot, however. <strike></strike>He<strike> remembers who they were</strike> tends to wear out quicker thanks to the stress of his department. 

Then there's <strike>Namjoon</strike> RM. The hero of the <strike>backstreets</strike> middle sephirah. 

He's clearly unhinged.

There are times where he's semi-lucid, he supposes. But for the most part, blood drips from those pale hands that have been reset again and again<strike> those hands that used to hold crabs and awards and his brothers-</strike>

<strike>Seokjin</strike> Jin was a problem, actually. Always suggesting improvements, as though human lives mean something. As though they aren't as durable as paper towels.

As though they aren't just replaceable.

<strike></strike>They had to replace him once, though. He <strike>was wearing those old clothes, white and shiny, twirling in an invisible song</strike> broke.

Unfortunate.

<strike></strike>He wonders, almost bitterly, if there's some world where it wouldn't have happened this way.

* * *

They lost Jungkook first.

They lost Jungkook to his own desperation to fix this rotting world, to fix the people he saw dying before his eyes-

And they lost Yoongi to the same, skin scratched raw and tears streaming down his face as Namjoon strapped him in, screaming expletives at their leader-

And Taehyung betrayed them, turned them in for being too radical, and they felt _so betrayed-_

And Jimin lost himself to the same drug Jungkook did, cogito flowing through his veins until he stopped breathing-

And Hoseok's psyche fractured, turning nihilistic or overly chipper at the drop of a hat, until he threw himself off a roof-

And Namjoon fought _so fucking hard_ until Seokjin found him bleeding out in an alley, stabbed through the gut with the sickle-shaped blade-

And Seokjin took poison with his coffee as penance. 

And the story ends.

* * *

It's almost painful, seeing it like this.

Seeing their slow destruction like this.

It's almost painful seeing the sephirah try and remember a song that they were made to forget as it blasts through the speakers, because one of their own is <strike>fr a c tur i n g</strike> remembering things they shouldn't. 

Remembering things they're not allowed to remember.

There's <strike>Dimple and Her and Save Me and Serendipity and Idol and Butterfly and Fire</strike> songs that have no meaning and no names because they're rhythmless and meaningless and <strike>everybody</strike> nobody will ever know.

But they remember.

And they can't be scrapped, because they remember, and they remember that they're not themselves anymore, and the upper sephirah don't go down to the lower levels because seeing their elders broken so many different ways is something they can't quite handle.

And the middle sephirah aren't quite sane anymore because their former lives are something they remember too often and it <strike>doesn't fucking matter anymore because they're dead and they failed</strike> is pointless.

And this story doesn't end happily.

Because the world is over and there's no point in living anymore, is there?

* * *

_"Where are they? Where are my brothers? I can't... I can't see. I can't feel. What happened to me? Where are they?"_

* * *

_"It's everywhere, can't you feel it? Everywhere? I can feel his hands, I can hear his voice, he's not dead, he's not dead, I can hear his screams, he's gonna be okay, I just need to see him."_

* * *

_"This isn't right. We can't do it like this. The way we're handling these monsters... we can't do this. We can't keep hurting ourselves."_

* * *

_"Why am I alive? Why am I still here, when they're not? Why do I have to feel this way? Why don't I feel? Where are they?"_

* * *

_"I don't know what's in my head anymore. I can't... there's two. There's me and there's me and there's us but we're not an us. We're not. Where are my brothers?"_

* * *

_"I hate this. I hate everything. There's so much blood. I hate all of this blood. Why won't it go away? Why did I do this? Where's my brother?"_

* * *

_"I failed. I failed all of them. They're all dead and it's because of me. I'm so sorry. I am so, so, sorry. I found you."_

* * *

This is a story without a happy ending.

This is a story of robots that once called each other family, a story of drugs and disease and dark nights in the backstreets. This is a story of blood, sweat, and tears.

This is a story of death.

And it is a story that never ends.

**Author's Note:**

> so fun fact: the songs i went with are the ones members have stated to be their favorites
> 
> and i kNOW namjoon doesn't have a part in butterfly but he said he listens to it so *shrug*
> 
> also yoongi was incredibly close to being gebura but the idea of namjoon fighting in the backstreets appeals to me so *s h r u g* you guys have to live iwth it


End file.
